It's Time

Today I realized I'm ill-suited for my job.

I became extremely frustrated at my tendency to get angry when interrupted and my inability to accomplish anything.

A friend told me to make sure that when I run, I'm running to something rather than away from.

I looked online for apartments/prices/salaries in Northwestern Arkansas and Houston.

I'm comparing the University of Houston and the University of Arkansas/Fayetteville.

I bought this book.

Tho'ts

Today I listened to a message about Peter and John going to the temple and healing the lame man (Acts 3), and was soon lost in my thoughts about the man they healed. He had probably given up praying for healing; he'd been that way since birth. But he did spend every day begging for money, for his needs to be met. And this day, instead of giving him what he wanted, God gave him what he really needed. He begged for money; God gave him legs that worked.

Yes, it seems like it would be better, but for the man, it would have sucked. His life was comfortable. He had his routine, he knew what he needed to do to get through the day; but when he was healed, everything changed.

He now had to provide for himself; he no longer had a reason to beg.
He'd have to find work, but his only skills lay in begging.
He'd have to learn a new skill, but he was 40 years old--hardly in the position for such a thing to come easy!

I wonder if, at the end of the day, after having spent hours dancing for joy, this man sat down and said, "Oh, crap. What the heck am I supposed to do tomorrow? Why didn't God give me a job along with the use of my legs? Couldn't he have just left me alone?"

How sad it would have been if he couldn't rejoice and look forward to a more full life, just because this change would demand more from him, more responsibility, more faith that God would lead him down the better--although more difficult--path.

And this is where I find myself. I was comfortable. My faith was getting me by in the place I was. I knew what I could expect from God and others, and God knew what he could expect from me.

But God has given me what I needed rather than what I asked for--and oh, how I had been begging for what I wanted! Now I've reached the end of my day of rejoicing, and looking forward, I'm terrified to see a long road ahead, a road marked with learning hard lessons, hard work, hard change; a hard life. And I'm tempted to say, "What the heck, God? If you've brought me here, why didn't you make the way forward a bit easier?"

However, what am I supposed to do? Sit back down and continue begging? No, I've been changed in order to forge forward, along the difficult path, to discover strength I never thought I had and blessings I never would have imagined could come so intertwined with the pain.

Fall & Winter

Today I hit 100 plays for "The Moon is a Magnet".

If you haven't checked Jon Foreman out yet, you have a new opportunity. He just released his new ep "Winter", and it's worth every penny. You can listen to all 6 songs at myspace.com/jonforeman. As of today, each one has played more than 8,000 times--and that's since the release on Tuesday (4 days!)

I'm sure most of you think I'm crazy to even keep track, but here's the thing--these arrangements of strings, bass clarinet and harmonica have helped me keep my sanity in the last 7 weeks.

Listen in. You won't be sorry. And if you want to buy this introspective, melancholic collection, head over to jonforeman.com, where you can purchase one or both ep's at a discounted price of $5 each.

Quarter Life Crisis

I've decided I'm not really an intellectual. For a long time I'd defined myself as such, and even had begun to amass large quantities of weighty books, which I then never read; I liked the look of them on my bookshelves. But I'm too lazy. I just like for people to think that I'm smart.

I've decided I own too much stuff. Going along with the amassing of books I've never read, and never really had plans to read, I've realized that I don't like owning a lot of things. I feel too stuck, too attached to where I physically am. My new resolve is to start getting rid of things, yes, even my books.

I've decided to become more mobile. Going along with getting rid of things, I hate the fact that I'm so attached to the physical place I am. I want to be able to pack everything I own in my car, and take off. I want to get rid of my debt so I can be free to go wherever and do whatever God has for me.

I've decided to learn a trade. I want to have a marketable skill (sorry Ozark), so I'm back in school. I don't want to be dependent on others' generosity to be able to live. Hence, I'm pursuing architecture, and then maybe I'll move to Chile and help my homeland move towards new urbanism.

help...?

so...i'm told to vote for indian gaming expansion, to benefit my state without having to raise taxes.

then, i'm told to vote against the same expansion, because it's a front for other political causes, blah, blah, blah.

any insights by those who actually know what is going on (namely, the charlton brothers, although other not-so-informed voters within my circle of acquaintences are welcome to comment)? and, i need to know soon, because of the early deadline of voting by mail.

thanks!

On the use of my iPod

fall

jon foreman's first ep of four

the cure for pain--55 plays

southbound train--59 plays
lord, save me from myself--57 plays

equally skilled--60 plays

the moon is a magnet--69 plays

my love goes free--54 plays

and counting.

all within the last 44 days (since acquiring the songs on november 28).

Caffeine to Inhibit my Sleep Receptors

I just returned from class...my first in 4 1/2 years. Wow.

Every week, we'll be studying the history of a certain period and then its effects on structures. I'm so excited! Today we looked at how good architecture must have function, strength and grace or aesthetic beauty.

We looked at Notre Dame in Paris...the cathedral didn't need its roof to be 140 feet above the ground, but by building it that way, its designer caused the eye of most every observer to rise to the heavens, and thus, to feel closer to God. (Not to mention the awesome use of arches throughout the building!)

So what have I to look forward to? Only the amazingness of:
The Ancient World
Egypt
Classical Greece
The Roman Empire
Early Christian & Byzantine Era
Early Medieval
Gothic (of which Notre Dame is an example)
Renaissance
Baroque & Rococo
Age of Enlightenment
And all the diversity of the 19th & 20th centuries
Crystal Cathedral Field Trip

I think the only drawback is that my first exam (20% of my grade) is the day after the Oscars, and my second exam & midterm (40% of my grade) is the week after our Amor trip, so I'll miss the review.

I can't wait to receive my textbook in the mail.

Homesick

I just finished watching "Diarios de Motocicleta". Why I waited so long, or what I thought it would be, I don't know, but the story so beautifully portrayed, has moved me.

For about 40 minutes, I was able to see the landscape of the land where I grew up which haunts me to this day--the towering, snowcapped Andes; the lush rainforest of the south, dotted with lakes and quaint towns of familiar architecture; the desolate yet majestic desert of the north; the weary gaze of the women in the market, and the youthful curiosity of a blooming generation. And I was taken back to a time and place not quite so hectic, much less muddled, and as much a part of my soul as my genetic code.

Why can't I go back to that place, if not that time? Why not simply take off as Ernesto Guevara did, to discover a world that is broken, and my place in it? Why do the depths of my being fear facing my past and the failures of who I've not yet become and the goals I've not yet accomplished?

¿Cómo es posible sentir nostalgia por algo que nunca conocí?

(min. 1:06)

What is there to look forward to after Christmas?

It is officially awards season, which means that the Oscars aren't too far off! And this year Jon Stewart is hosting (although I'd still rather see Billy Crystal).

So mark your calendars for February 24--you're all invited to hang out with me! (And maybe this year, more than 3 people will show up.) The red carpet starts at 3 pm; the show starts at 5 pm. Bring a snack, and we'll make a day of it!

Movies to see before the show:

Gone, Baby, Gone--For Ben Affleck's directing, and Casey Affleck's acting

Michael Clayton--Performances by Tilda Swinton and George Clooney

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford--Performances by Casey Affleck and Brad Pitt

Before the Devil Knows You're Dead--Directing by Sidney Lumet and performance by Philip Seymour Hoffman

I'm Not There--Cate Blanchett's portrayal of Bob Dylan

Juno--Indie possibility for best picture; performance by Ellen Page

Atonement--Performances by James McAvoy (Tumnus the Faun and the young doctor in the Last King of Scotland) and Keira Knightley; also possibility for best picture

Lars and the Real Girl--Performance by Ryan Gosling

The Kite Runner--Possibility for best picture

A Mighty Heart--Performance by Angelina Jolie

Eastern Promises--Performance by Viggo Mortensen

Hit the Books!

I am officially enrolled in two classes at Cerritos College.



Fundamentals of Supervision
Thursday Evenings
This is a business class that I hope will help me as I learn to better administrate the business side of church. I look forward to being better equipped to do my job even better!

History of Architecture

Monday Mornings

I've been interested in architecture since I was in high school. So I'm excited to get to actually explore this option, and see if it's a path I'd like to follow!

So many possibilities! I wonder where I'll end up.

'It's a dangerous thing, Frodo, going out your door. You step out onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you'll be swept off to.'

Auld Lang Syne

Palmier cookies hurriedly made at the last minute: Check.










Hair & makeup: Check.













French/Mexican hosts, who together are amazing chefs, bar tenders, and all-around lovely people: Check.












Beautiful newly redecorated house with a pool and hot tub: Check.













One adorable baby who seems determined to make it all the way to midnight: Check.









One cheese plate that definitely includes a wheel of brie: Check.











One DJ with a laptop and excellent taste in music: Check.












A pair of Mexican men who love singing boleros and rancheras, even while the DJ is playing something else: Check.







Twelve grapes for good luck in the new year, to cram in my mouth during the 12 strokes of midnight: Check.











An assortment of noisemakers: Check.












An especially noisy Chilean who isn't afraid to use them, despite death glares from his wife: Check.









And the results are a particularly agreeable evening spent ringing in the new year.