Creed

I cannot say my creed in words.
How should I spell despair, excitement, joy and grief?
amazement, anger, certainty and unbelief?

What was the grammar of those sleepless nights?
Who the subject? What the object? –
of a friend who will not come, or does not come,
and then
creates his own eccentric special dawn:
A blinding light that does not blind.

Why do I find you in the secret,
wordless places where I hide
from your eternal light?
I hate you.
I love you.
I miss you.
I wish that you would go
and yet I know that long ago
you made a fairy tale for me

About the day when you would take your sword
and battle through the thicket of the things I have become.

Your kiss to life…my Sleeping Beauty
waiting for her Prince to come.

Then I will wake
and look into your eyes
and understand.
And for the first time
I will not be dumb
and I shall
say my creed
in words.

--Adrian Plass